worst ways to break up with someone

• you get ignored. your significant other never tells you anything. there's just no more phone calls, no more dates and they wont even answer the door when you know they're home. you get confirmation that they haven't died or have the plague and that they have moved on, when you see them with someone else at the grocery store. (in this situation, it's ok to beat them over the head with a nearby eggplant).

• they leave with someone else at a party or club, cheat on you with a friend or it turns out he's gay.

• post-it note on your fridge, front door, car or work computer (originally, it's from sex&the city, but it's been copied quite a few times)

• a friend finds their profile on an internet dating site, with "..i just broke up with my boyfriend/girlfriend and am looking for something new.." in the 'about me' section.

• you find out about the break-up on your significant other's blog

• they post a flyer at your favorite coffee shop/internet cafe.

• they put an add in the newspaper or school newspaper.

• you find out from friends "through the grape vine," several days later.

• you receive notice as part of a group e:mail at work or at school.

• you're dating a musician, they write a song about the break-up and you hear it performed at their next gig, while dancing in the front row. it turns out it's really popular and is the most downloaded song the following week.

• a surrogate break-up: they have a friend do the breaking up for them.

• you find out when your lover proposes a toast at a formal dinner party in front of all your friends and family.

• gorrila-gram

• you get a fax at work.

• e:card (do they make break-up e:cards?)

• instant message

• facebook. (it's worse, when you both have thousands of friends)

• text message

• they break-up with you by writing it in your yearbook.

• e:mail

• voice mail

• "dear john/jane" letter

• phone conversation

• in person (this isn't actually a "worst way." clear, honest communication is always the best way.)



all of these are actual, real world ways people have broken-up with their significant others (or maybe they weren't that significant after all), except the gorilla-gram. these are taken from the direct experiences of either myself or my close friends. some of them i wish never happened, but it was an experience and i learned from them; mostly that 2-way communication is critical to a successful relationship. each person needs to feel safe to express oneself and needs to be willing to listen and understand the other. these 'ways' are funny now, but not when i was in the middle of it.